My life has endless blank pages…

It’s been far too long.  I feel like sometimes I don’t have anything to write, since nothing major has changed in my life, and each day seems to just roll right into the next without any excitement.  Well so what! I need to embrace each day with a fresh pair of eyes, and let the little things bring me joy, rather than waiting and anticipating and stressing over some major change that may not actually be in my cards.

So what little things have made me happy recently? Breaking out the flip flops for the first time in what seems like forever.  Feeling the warm breeze and sand between my toes. Driving to Cardiff to sit on the most amazing beach all by myself, with only my thoughts and the sound of the ocean waves – the most amazing and comforting solitude I could ever ask for.  As it starts to warm up again in San Diego, I find myself longing to re-learn to surf, and to surf the right way (no offense MBAC).  Finding the most amazing little coffee shop in Oceanside that just feels like home, and is worth the insane drive for the cozy feeling it gives me. 

Team in Training season starts again in one week and I slept in for my last Saturday until July (who am I kidding? I haven’t slept in on a Saturday in ages).  Sleeping in actually ended up being waking up before my alarm, and having to settle with sleeping in until 9am.  It’s better than 545am!  The beginning of the season brings a whole cornucopia of feelings – excited to be getting back to the green team, to familiar faces, to the joys of running and experiencing new parts of San Diego, to getting teary eyed at every session when someone shares their story of why they are committed to raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society; on the other side, I am completely terrified.  After having stress fractures last season and not being able to complete the marathon was a huge let down for me.  I was devastated because I had put so much into it, physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m terrified that I will get hurt again.  I will jog slowly at first to start things off and once I start feeling good again, I will get re-injured. I am overly cautious and am running with fear instead of joy.  I’m hoping my next bone scan will show that my legs are completely healed so that I can run freely again!

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