My life has endless blank pages…

Tis the season

It seems for everything. Resolutions, football (sorry Seahawks, you’re still my boo), death (sadly) and weddings. 

Has everyone kept up with their NYE Resolutions so far? I’m the type of person that goes back and forth each year with NY resolutions. Should I make one, will I keep it,  I want a donut, I need to work out!  A spaz if you ask me.  This year I decided not to make a very specific resolution, but to make a broad life goal: to try to be a better me. That means in any and all aspects possible. Try to be a better physical me, a better mental me, a better emotional me (and lord knows I can use it in all three areas!).  To be more active in my Fitfluential community. To present myself in the best light possible, and try and land a job (not being employed is taking a toll emotionally. I’ve shed more than a few frustrated tears).  Not working, putting out TONS of applications but not hearing back has killed what little self-esteem I had going for me. I feel like a failure. Like my time (and my money since I paid for it myself) in college was a waste. I know the economy is bad right now and there are a whole lot of people that are unemployed with families, etc., and that I’m lucky to have family that will take me back during this rough time.  I know all that and am grateful for what I have, but it is really really really hard. Especially when races keep notifying me about registration on Facebook!

Oh football.  I spent last Sunday in my old Shaun Alexander jersey, on the couch at my friends house, biting my nails, hiding my face, you name it, during the Seahawks vs. Falcons game. It didn’t look good from the start. Down 20-0 at halftime?! What the what!  But then we came back. It was amazing. I was excited and hopeful! When we scored our last TD and it was 28-27 in our favor, I was over the moon. But I had said before that TD that we needed to waste a lot more time  on the clock. You don’t want to score the TD and then give them time to run the ball and get within FG range!  And that’s exactly what happened. We left them 31 seconds! Come on guys! And don’t even get me started on that whole calling of the time out snafu. In the end, we lost. Our season is over, but I still love my Seahawks! They gave the 12th Man one hell of a season and I look forward to what our young team has to offer in the coming years.  My dads (and the bay areas) 49ers are still in it, so this Sunday will either have lots of high-fives, or lots of yelling at the TV. I’m hoping for the former, for my sake.

Death is something that you don’t ever want to deal with. It’s something you plan for in certain occasions, and comes by complete surprise in other situations.  My uncle lost his dad 2 days after Christmas, which brought the Filipino community out in full force for such an amazing man.  Two of my cousins went into the hospital within 2 days of each other last weekend (they both have muscular dystrophy).  My older cousin passed away on Thursday morning and my younger cousin is still in the hospital.  I don’t pretend to understand why any of this happens. I don’t know why someone would be made to suffer for so long, to have his life taken at a young age but still be fully aware, only to cut his life short anyways.  Our family is trying to get through this the best way we can, but it’s tough. Anyone who has lost someone can tell you that.

During all of this, we’re trying to focus on good things too, to life our spirits.  My best friend got married in July 2011 and I was her MOH.   My older sister got married a month later.  My cousin got married in August 2012 and I was her MOH.  My other cousin is getting married in less than a month and I’m a bridesmaid. Whew! So much to do in so little time. My dress finally came in (no thanks to a HORRIBLE experience with David’s Bridal), and my shoes came in yesterday, so time to take it to be altered (at 5’1, they can probably take enough to make another dress lol).  Flights are purchased (another drama session is and of itself) and we’ll be on our way to Texas in exactly 2 weeks!!

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Comments on: "Tis the season" (4)

  1. Aww, so sorry life has been such a rough start to the year 😦

    Soooo cliche, I know, but keep your chin up & know that better things are coming and this too, shall pass. I had a year with 6 funerals in about 5 months, then a good quarter of last year was spent sick. It stinks, but I hope this season passes quickly so you can look back and see how strong you are to have made it through! {hugs}

  2. Dang. so much going on. Hoping all is going well and sorry to hear about the loss in your family. Weddings are always wonderful tho. 🙂

    • Thank you! It’s a lot but we’re getting through it. I’m excited for the wedding now that everythings finally coming together!

      …I’m also excited for your giveaway. Come on! 🙂

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